Replacing Routines with Rituals
A few days ago I was going for a lovely stroll along the sea wall here in Vancouver. Someone ran past me and I noticed that there was some text on the back of their shirt. The text read: ‘don’t go through life without goals’.
Once I registered these words, I actually giggled a little to myself. It seemed comical to me that this message is so ingrained in our society that people proudly proclaim it on their clothing like it’s no big deal.
To be clear, I don’t think goals are bad. If they work for you, that’s great! I just don’t think they work for everyone and I definitely don’t think that they are the only way to succeed.
Finding an alternative to goal setting is something that’s been on my mind for quite some time, particularly over the last year. For me, an unexpected benefit of the pandemic is that it completely shook up my schedule and routines. This sudden change to our daily lives gave many of us an opportunity to reflect on how we are spending our time.
Taking away the need to be at a particular place at a particular time has allowed me to find my own natural rhythm. The lack of rigid schedules has given me a lot more control over my day. I’ve had the space and time to really examine how I’m choosing to live this life.
Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t all been smooth sailing. Suddenly having time and space to reflect like this has also led to a whole lot of overthinking and a large helping of overwhelm.
One thing that has helped loosen the grip of overwhelm was discovering the difference between routines and rituals. I don’t remember where I first heard it, but for some reason I made a note on a scrap of paper that just said ‘routines vs. rituals’, and I was curious enough one day to research how these seemingly similar words differed. Turns out, the distinction is everything.
In a nutshell, routines require deliberate practice. They typically involve an effortful process that will lead to a specific outcome (i.e a goal). Rituals, on the other hand, focus on the experience itself. The outcome of a ritual may end up being exactly the same as the routine, but the process of getting there will be entirely different.
My understanding of rituals is that they are playful.
When we approach things with a playful mindset, we get curious and find unexpected connections between things along the way. Being playful requires us to be fully present in the moment and allows us to be much more flexible when engaging with new information.
Something else that I find intriguing about rituals is that they can be energy generating.
It makes sense that if you enjoy what you’re doing while you’re doing it, you will likely feel motivated to keep doing it (perhaps akin to entering a flow state). In contrast, keeping up a routine can often feel energy draining. Forcing yourself to do something regularly so that you can tick off that task for the day (i.e. outcome focussed) doesn’t seem to produce the same kind of motivation.
I’m sure there are many different ways to embrace rituals. The way that I’ve been approaching them is to create different categories of activities that I want to engage in most days. As someone who rebels against goal setting and schedules, I’ve found that this approach provides me with just the right amount of structure, while maintaining the flexibility I need to play.
The great thing about rituals is that you have the freedom to make them however you want, in whatever way works for you.
I would love to know whether this approach resonates with you, and if so how you envision it for yourself. Please feel free to get in touch. I’d love to hear from you!