On Being Brave

The word ‘brave’ isn’t one that I used to spend much time thinking about. That is, until the months leading up to my move to Canada (from the land down under) seven-ish years ago. Suddenly I started hearing it a lot.  

I heard it from people working at the bank, at the phone company, the health insurance office. Basically all the people that I had to talk to about switching my life stuff to another country.

At that time I had just completed my PhD and was moving for a research fellowship at one of the universities here. I had to explain my situation so many times that I started noticing a pattern. 

The ‘you’re so brave’ reaction almost always followed the part of the conversation when they found out I was going alone. 

This reaction really bothered me. I never said anything, but I often wondered if a man in the same position would be told the same thing. I feel pretty confident that they wouldn’t.

OK so you might be wondering, if I have such a complicated history with this word, why make it part of my brand name? 

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. 

When I was throwing around ideas it just kind of felt right. The imagery of a brave snail making its own way in the world is something I identify with. And I guess it felt like reclaiming that word was an act of defiance in a way.

I was discussing the use of brave with a friend and she mentioned that someone had recently described her as ‘courageous’. We wondered if it was used in the same context as brave whether it would be any less patronising. I’m not sure that it is, but it did get me thinking about the difference between these two words.

Although they seem to be used interchangeably, I discovered that there is an important distinction.

Courage is about being afraid of something but doing it anyway, perhaps because it’s the good or right thing to do. Bravery actually doesn’t include the element of fear. It’s more about acting in line with your instincts when they differ from the instincts of those around you.

So what does being brave mean to me?

Being brave means being soft and gentle in a world that tells me I should toughen up and be louder.

Being brave means living a life that society tells me is unconventional. One that involves being un-partnered and child-free.

Being brave means walking away from people who want me to be somebody I’m not.

Being brave means embracing my quirks and contradictions. Trusting my intuition. Living a creative life.

Basically, I think being brave means being unapologetically me, even when others don’t understand.

What does being brave mean to you?