Soft Places to Fall

I recently ventured out into the world to see a Cirque du Soleil show. As would be expected at such a show, there were incredible displays of strength and flexibility, as well as a very sweet love story between two clowns.

But the most interesting part for me came in the finale. Not because there were seven people swinging around from the rooftop catching each other in the air. But because one of them misjudged the timing of their multiple aerial somersaults and fell.

We could all see that there was a safety net to catch their fall, but there was still a very sudden shift in the atmosphere as they plummeted towards it. It felt like there was a collective holding of breath while they bounced on the net a few times. And when they eventually stood up to face the crowd, they got the biggest applause of the whole night. 

Seeing someone make a mistake like that revealed how difficult what they were doing actually was. But it was the outpouring of support from the audience that I couldn’t stop thinking about afterwards. It was a beautiful moment that has got me thinking about risk taking and creating our own metaphorical safety nets.

A message that I’ve heard a lot over the years in various forms is that taking risks is a good thing. People regret the things that they didn’t do more than the things they tried and failed at. But despite knowing this intellectually, a lot of us are still hesitant to take risks. 

Perhaps we are thinking about it backwards.

I’ve been reflecting on my own life experiences – times when I’ve taken risks and when I’ve decided to stay safe. From the outside it might look like I’m a bit of a risk taker. I’ve moved across to the other side of the world alone, abandoned my academic career, and started a creative business. But I’ve been feeling a bit stuck lately, as if something is holding me back from taking more leaps forward. 

Of course it’s usually the fear of potential consequences that stops us from taking a big leap. What if we fall hard? What if we damage ourselves beyond repair? 

The advice I’ve seen out in the world is to push through this fear. Fear is stopping us from fulfilling our potential. But instead of embracing the fear or focussing on the outcomes, what if we work on creating a softer place to fall. Our own safety net.

When we talk about safety nets, we’re typically referring to financial buffers. And while of course this is important and a reality of the world we live in, I think there are other elements that we can weave into our nets that are just as important. Two things that I’ve been twisting together as part of my net are self-acceptance and self-compassion. This is still a work in progress, but I think that the stronger these elements get, the more I can trust them to catch me when I next fall.

What would help catch you softly when you next fall?